Even in simpler times, parenting was a challenge. From the sleepless days (and nights) of infancy, to the terrible twos, and to the difficulties of living with teenagers, the life of a parent evolves as their kids age.
As part of our ongoing research on family safety and parenting, we asked more than 2,500 U.S. parents more than 45 questions related to raising children. Based on questions ranging from anxiety and concerns to the decisions they make as parents, we were able to build a comprehensive look at the state of parenting in America. Our respondents ranged from ages 18-74, and represented all racial backgrounds from all U.S. states.
Though their fears may vary, parents remain concerned about the safety of their children, regardless of their age. Notably, parents of tweens (10-12 years of age) are the most concerned, perhaps due to kids this age gaining more autonomy. As we’ll explore later, age 12 is a big one for what activities or topics parents consider age-appropriate.
When delving further into how parents feel about their child’s safety based on their location, different trends emerge. Their confidence in child safety increases at a friend’s house as children get older, while the opposite is true for school. Unfortunately, this could be the case because school shootings are most likely to happen at high schools.
As kids age, parents’ concerns about their physical safety tend to be replaced by digital ones. Parents of kids between 7 and 15 say their biggest fear is the internet and social media, and that was the biggest concern overall for parents. For parents whose teens are of driving age, car safety is their biggest worry. In fact, driving safety is a slightly bigger concern for these parents than whether or not their teens are practicing safe sex.
Since physical and digital safety concerns differ depending on age group and also require different precautions, we’ll discuss them separately.
Parents tend to prefer direct supervision over safety devices when it comes to the physical safety of their children. Only 10 percent of parents with kids between 7 and 9 say their children are ever left home unsupervised. And while this figure rises as kids get older, a significant percentage of parents with teens say their children are never home alone.
Older teens are the most likely to be left home unsupervised, but almost one in five parents of children this age say their kids are never home alone.
That said, there are a few childproofing devices that are popular. A majority of parents with toddlers and young children use outlet covers, while about two in three parents with toddlers also use drawer and cabinet locks.
But is this enough?
Our previous childproofing research shows that four in 10 parents say their child’s injury could’ve been avoided with proper childproofing, and that 20% of parents are less diligent about childproofing after their first child. We looked at a year’s worth of the most recent NEISS data, and it shows why childproofing is so important. Over one year, there were a total of 20,795 emergency room visits due to home- or school-related injuries. Fifty percent of those injuries — over 10,000 ER visits — were sustained by children age 3 or under.
Tip: It’s important to consider every scenario in which your child might be exposed to a safety hazard. Jewelry and medicine are typically out of a toddler’s reach, and parents are arguably always with them during bath time. Yet, those objects account for almost 1,000 ER visits over the past year for 2 year olds alone. Lastly, don’t forget about your child’s toys and other equipment. You can stay up to date on safety concerns and recall information by registering with the manufacturers for updates and following them on social media.
We also asked parents how prepared they believe their kids are for crisis situations in the home, such as fires or power outages, as well as whether they regretted some of their previous parenting choices.
Generally, parents told us their kids are well-prepared for emergencies they might encounter in the home — with one big exception that doesn’t bode well for our climate future.
Parents rated their kids as most prepared to handle fires, power outages, and weather emergencies but least prepared to handle flooding. Floods are already one of the most destructive natural disasters, and scientists expect them to worsen1 as global warming exacerbates sea level rise, causing heavier precipitation.
Perhaps because they’ve already learned a bit about fire safety, 69 percent of parents told us their children (excluding toddlers) are likely to know how to respond to a fire at home. However, only 34 percent said the same about a flood. Even for older teens, only half of parents said their child would know what to do in a flood. Parents told us, however, that weather emergencies and power outages were within their kids’ grasp.
Thirteen percent of parents state they have a pool at their home. While this may not seem high, pool safety is imperative to teach your child at a young age. Remember that:
Our research shows that half of parents with children 0-3 years old are seriously concerned about pool safety, and 25% of all parents share this concern. It’s well-founded — according to NEISS data, the majority of pool-related injuries happen with 2- and 3-year-old children. Additionally, drowning is the leading cause of death for children between 1 and 4 years old.
Despite the dangers, many parents don’t have pool safety measures in place for their children. Here are some tips for keeping kids safe near the water.
Tip:
Your child’s digital safety is just as important as their physical safety, especially since smartphones, tablets, and other devices are ubiquitous parts of daily life. But where do you start and how do you know what to do to protect your children?
We found that by age 4, one in three children have access to a smartphone that can download apps and access the internet. This becomes almost universally true for children 13 and older.
Experts recommend strict screen time limitations for children until they’re 2 years old; specifically, they suggest limiting it to educational content watched with a caregiver. After 2 years old, they recommend a limit of one hour per day until children are 5 years old. For older kids and teenagers, they encourage healthy habits like balancing time spent on a device and playing outside or with other toys. Lastly, parents should avoid using screen time to unintentionally reinforce negative behavior (like distracting them with games or videos if they’re throwing a tantrum).
There are notable generational differences regarding what parents think is the acceptable age for children to have smartphone and tablet access. Parents of younger children agree that 5 years old is an appropriate age for a child to have their own device, whereas parents of older children suggest it should be closer to 13. Our research suggests that holding off may prevent future regret, as 15% of parents feel they gave their child a smartphone too soon.
Tip:
While it depends on individual maturity levels and circumstances, parents feel these are the youngest ages for children to have:
Even if a child is ready to have their own internet-connected device, that doesn’t mean they’re ready for unsupervised access or that parents don’t have concerns about online content and social media. 70 percent of all parents have significant concerns about their child’s safety on social media, with parents of 7-12 year olds being the most worried.
Are we giving our children access to social media before they’re ready? It’s possible. Even though many parents agree that a 13 year old is ready for their own social profiles, one-third also believe they gave their younger teenagers access too soon.
Even if your child has access, the internet is a vast place with both endless learning opportunities and content that is inappropriate for kids. Despite this, we found gaps in how parents monitor their child’s online activity.
Over 20% of parents have no internet regulations for their children, and this jumps to one in three for parents of 13-15-year-old children (a pivotal age where most teens become curious about sex and recreational drugs, among other things).
Many parents also don’t limit screen time for young children or have measures in place to prevent app downloads or website access.
If for no other reason, you might want parental controls in place to protect your wallet. There are countless stories of parents who find hundreds or thousands of dollars in accidental in-app purchases made by their children on their credit card bills. Here are more tips on parental controls and guidelines for kids of all ages.
Similar to the real world, there are a plethora of digital risks to consider when your children venture online. We focused on two in particular – child predators and cyberbullying.
All parents love to talk about their children, and rightfully so. As social media has become more prevalent, so has the sharing of information, pictures, and videos of children online. While this may seem harmless, there could be unintended consequences.
Sixty-three percent of parents post about their child on social media, and this number remains steady across all ages. Additionally, roughly half of all parents post their child’s real name, along with pictures and videos.
Why is this a problem?
Almost half of parents posting about their children on social media share content with people they don’t know, and the vast majority don’t know all of their followers in real life. Yet, several investigations have shown that child predators frequently steal these photos to recirculate among their networks. There have also been stories dating back decades of child predators targeting single moms in order to get to their children, and the more freely available information they have, the higher the risk. These tips on how to safely share photos of your kids online or social media hashtags to avoid could help children avoid critically dangerous situations.
Cyberbullying has become so prevalent that there are dozens of organizations dedicated to preventing and educating people on the harm caused by this online behavior. And while three in four parents are confident their child would come to them for advice in this situation, past research shows that only 31% of children told their parents they were being cyberbullied.
Tip:
Any form of bullying is embarrassing and can cause kids to withdraw — to prevent cyberbullying specifically, your child should:
The old adage still rings true: If you wouldn’t want it published on the front page of the newspaper, you probably shouldn’t do or say it online.
In addition to asking parents about the physical and online safety of their kids, we gave them an opportunity to tell us what they consider age-appropriate when it comes to certain topics or activities.
Their answers provide a fascinating peek into American parenting and the ways in which it sometimes conforms with expert guidance — and sometimes when it doesn’t.
These questions were only for parents with children age 3 and younger. While there was some common ground, there were a few areas in which parents might be overly cautious.
At what age can most children …
… have blankets in their crib/bed?
According to the American Academy of Pediatrics,2 babies should not have soft objects or loose bedding in their beds or cribs until 12 months of age. The most common answer was between 12-17 months, though 25 percent of parents said 24 months. You should still take caution, as the majority of blanket-related ER visits involve 2-year-old children.
… eat honey?
Honey is unsafe for children under 12 months of age3, as it contains spores that can grow and cause infant botulism. This age range (12-17 months) was most commonly cited by parents in our survey (52 percent), but 28 percent said between 2 and 6 years.
… start solid foods?
Most babies can begin eating small portions of solid foods by the time they are 6 months old4. Health experts recommend introducing one food at a time at first so that you can monitor your child for allergic reactions. Parents in our survey were right on the money here, with three in four choosing the right age group.
… sit in a forward-facing car seat?
The National Highway Transportation Administration recommends babies and toddlers ride in rear-facing car seats for at least the first year of their lives and for as long as possible until they outgrow these seats. This is often around age 35. The most common answer among parents we talked to was 2 years old, which could be appropriate, depending on the height and weight of the child. Still, to reiterate, authorities recommend keeping children in rear-facing seats for as long as possible.
We asked parents at what age they think it’s appropriate to: introduce children to fire safety and firearm safety materials; when they can cook by themselves, and when they can be at home alone before or after school.
At what age can most children …
… be introduced to fire safety?
By age 2, children can be introduced to fire safety and learn about how they can help prevent fires, as well as what to do if a fire breaks out at home. Experts acknowledge that holding a young child’s attention can be difficult, which is why many local fire departments offer tours and educational activities for toddlers and preschoolers. The most common answer among parents we talked to was 5 years of age, which is much higher than what experts recommend, but a total of 39 percent of parents said this education should happen sooner.
… be introduced to firearm safety?
Unsurprisingly, there is little consensus as to when children should be taught about firearm safety. The National Rifle Association6, for example, suggests that children as young as 6 years old could learn about gun safety if they’ve demonstrated good safety behavior in other areas. However, the American Academy of Pediatrics points to studies that suggest skills-based gun safety programs do not reduce gun handling by children7. Overall, about 15 percent of parents said 5 was the age at which they felt learning about gun safety was appropriate, but nearly as large a percentage (14 percent) said 10. You can never start too early with firearm safety — even if you don’t have one in your home, that might not be true for your child’s friends or family members.
… be home alone before or after school?
Experts tend to agree that outside of very young children, the age at which a kid can be left alone before or after school depends largely on the maturity level of the child. That said, a few states do have laws8 regarding the minimum age at which a child can be left home alone — 8 years in Maryland, 10 in Oregon, and 14 in Illinois. Among our group of parents, the most common answer was 12, with 30 percent of parents selecting this age. But 43 percent said only teenagers could be home alone before or after school. This is an area in which the neighborhood made a slight difference in parents’ answers. A quarter of urban-dwelling parents said kids who are 10 or 11 could be home alone compared to about 20 percent of the other groups.
… cook on a stovetop unsupervised?
As far as being left home alone before or after school, there isn’t firm guidance from child health experts. However, many factors play a role, including the size and maturity of the child, as well as the cooking fuel used for the stovetop. Many parents are not comfortable with a child using a gas stovetop since it has an actual flame versus an electric cooktop. The most commonly cited age was 12, with 26 percent of parents selecting this age.
Reflecting their views on safety once a child leaves the house, parents tend to think things like flying alone or playing in a park without supervision are activities reserved for tweens and teens.
At what age can most children …
… sit in the front seat of a vehicle?
Traffic safety officials recommend all children younger than 13 ride in the back seat, regardless of their size9. One in three parents we talked to said kids could sit in the front seat starting at age 12, while 16 percent said 13 and 20 percent said 10.
… fly alone?
Most airlines allow children as young as age 5 to fly alone10, though they will be subject to “unaccompanied minor” rules, which could limit them to nonstop or direct flights. Most airlines drop these rules for kids starting at age 12, though for some, it’s 15. Our group of parents was quite divided on this question, with only one age (16) gaining more than 20 percent of votes. Only a fraction of parents selected age 5.
… attend sleepovers at a friend’s house?
Nearly half of parents said children can start attending sleepovers between ages 8 and 10. Child development experts say the decision depends on their maturity and independence levels, as well as what information you have about the friend and their family.
… play in a park without supervision?
While there are a few state laws on children being left home unsupervised, most states haven’t legislated on this issue. In 2018, on the other hand, Utah passed a so-called “free-range parenting” law11, which changed the definition of neglect to allow children to participate in some unsupervised activities without their parents facing legal repercussions. However, the law does not stipulate a specific age limit but rather defers to parents’ judgment about their children’s maturity levels. The median age our parent group selected was 12, though this was driven partly by suburban parents, who were more likely than other groups to pick this age.
… be dropped off at a mall or the movies without an adult?
Many U.S. shopping malls have rules about the minimum age in which young people may be there alone, with some barring those under 18 from being in the mall without an adult over the age of 21. In some cases, these rules apply only on the weekends, but parents should consult the rules where they live. The median age among the parents we talked to was 12, but 38 percent selected ages between 15 and 18, possibly reflecting local shopping mall and movie theater rules in their communities.
… ride their bike to school or a friend’s house without an adult?
Like other areas, whether this is age-appropriate depends mostly on the child; it also depends on how far they have to go, though laws may apply based on the community. The median age selected by our group of parents was 12, though parents were nearly as likely to select 10 or 13.
… walk to school or a friend’s house without an adult?
Not surprisingly, 12 was also the median age for walking to a friend’s house without an adult, followed by 10 and 13.
Considering that social media is the thing parents worry about most, it’s not surprising that when it comes to many internet- and social media-related activities, parents want to delay these as long as possible — with one notable exception.
At what age can most children …
… have their own mobile phone?
While child health experts recommend limiting time using screens for young children, such as those on smartphones, tablets, computers, and TV, when it comes to older kids, what’s appropriate depends on the child. Still, experts recommend designating media-free times of day, such as family dinner. Additionally, the American Academy of Pediatrics says children should not sleep with devices like smartphones, TVs, and computers in their bedrooms12. Parents we talked to selected 12 as the age in which it’s appropriate for kids to have their own mobile phones.
… have their own tablet?
While tablets have similar recommendations from child health experts, parents are much more likely to say they’re OK for younger kids. One reason for this could be their proliferation in educational settings, as well as the fact that they are more likely not to have internet access if they aren’t Wi-Fi-connected or lack a data plan. Parents selected age 8 as their median, but their answers are highly dependent on their child’s age. For example, for parents of kids between 7 and 9, 28 percent say that’s the age in which a kid can have a tablet, while another 12 percent said 10 is the right age. This could mean they truly believe their children are ready for their own tablet, or it could mean they’re simply tired of their tablet being sticky!
… have unsupervised internet access?
Given the hazards that can befall children (and adults) online, parents tend to be more conservative when it comes to when it’s appropriate for kids to have unsupervised internet access. Parents chose 15 as the median age, while 43 percent picked 16-18. Also, while 15 is the age they chose, only about 35 percent of parents told us they use parental controls to limit websites for their younger kids.
… have a social media account?
Most social media platforms require users, as stated in their terms and conditions, to be at least 13 years of age, though it’s easy for users to fake their age. Given that social media is the biggest concern area for parents, it’s understandable that they tend to want social media limited to teens. The median age they selected was 14, and 84 percent of them said social media is only appropriate for those over 13.
… have a TV in their room?
As we’ve already noted, many health experts advise parents not to allow their kids to sleep with electronics like TVs in their rooms. Still, parents we talked to chose 10 as the median age when they felt it was OK for their kids to have a TV in their room. However, by a similar percentage, parents also selected age 18, so there’s a good deal of debate on this topic.
… have a computer in their room?
Over half of all parents chose 13 as the median age in which kids could have a computer in their room.
For most parents, helping teenagers make the transition into adulthood supplants being protective of their physical safety. When it comes to high-responsibility activities like working or having credit cards, parents tend to think those are reserved for older teens.
At what age can most children …
… start babysitting?
There is no established minimum babysitting age, though parents should note what laws may apply in their state when it comes to children being left without adults. Parents’ answers here may also depend on the children being watched, as some children have had more exposure to babies and toddlers than others. Parents in our group chose 14 as their median age, though they were almost as likely to select 16 to 18.
… have their own bank debit card?
In general, people under 18 cannot sign legal documents, but many financial institutions offer accounts for young people that can be jointly managed by their parents.13 Still others may permit parents to issue debit cards to their children from the family’s existing accounts. The parents we talked to were in general agreement that kids under 13 should not have access to bank debit cards, and the median age they chose was 16.
… get a credit card?
Similarly, people under 18 cannot get their own credit card, but some financial experts recommend adding mature teenagers as authorized users on parents’ accounts. Seventy-four percent of the parents we talked to said this was only appropriate for 18 year olds, though 19 percent said it would be OK for 16- and 17-year-old teenagers to have a credit card. It’s important to note that we did not ask parents about making their kids authorized users on their accounts, so it’s likely that most parents are aware of the laws regarding children and credit cards.
… start working?
Laws vary by state14 when it comes to minors and employment, including the age of the child and whether they are still in school. The median age our group of parents chose was 16, though 40 percent selected 14 to 15 years old.
Learning how to deal with others is an important part of growing up, whether that means friendships or romances. We asked parents about things such as bullying prevention or sex education, as well as when it was appopriate for kids to start dating.
At what age can most children …
… be exposed to bullying prevention materials?
While bullying is most common for children 12 and older15, parents we talked to tended to feel that kids should be exposed to bullying prevention materials at an earlier age. The median age they selected was 5, and 72 percent of parents said kids should be taught about bullying prevention before age 6.
… be exposed to sex education materials?
Child health experts tend to recommend comprehensive sex education starting around fifth or sixth grade, which coincides with the onset of puberty in most children. The parents we talked to tend to agree with this, as they chose 11 as the median age, and 64 percent said it should begin between ages 10 and 13.
…start dating?
As with many other topics, when it comes to the appropriate age for young people to begin dating, there aren’t many hard-and-fast rules. The parents we talked to tend to believe kids should wait until high school. The median age they chose was 16, and 76 percent said young people should be at least 15 before they start dating.
The average parent is inundated with advice (or criticism) about their parenting choices on a near-daily basis, and while some of it is probably good advice, it’s hard to know when to take it to heart. This research shows that although there are different parenting styles, the average American parent simply wants to do what is best for their child’s physical and emotional well-being — even if it goes against the grain.
We surveyed over 2,500 Americans with at least one child about what they consider age-appropriate for children, what safety measures they take, and many other matters related to parenting. Our survey was conducted online in 2022.